A Parrot, A Cockatoo and Some Fruity Pebbles

Okay, so THIS is the first day after the first post of my first blog. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about putting my writing out there for everyone. One thing I AM sure of, however, is that I'm already tired of the word "blog". I feel like it makes me sound pretentious and full of myself.  But trust me, I'm not either of those things. In fact, the closest I come to being full of myself, is looking down and finding my cleavage full of Fruity Pebbles. And yes, that really happened tonight. Yabba dabba do.

I've decided I'm going to dip my toes into this whole BLOG thing by just doing what I do, writing about my life....that's easy for me. And after today, I need easy.

It was a normal day for the most part. I went to work. Things were moderately busy at the office. And THEN the phone calls from home started.........ahhhhh yes, the kids were out of school all day. And because an iPhone, iPod Touch, cell phone, Xbox 360 and cable tv with a bazillion channels are not entertainment enough, my two kids took to calling me repeatedly throughout the day. I'm not sure if they actually set a timer, or if they just inherently remembered to call every five minutes, but their tenacity was impressive.   I kept looking around for Jerry Lewis because I felt like I was ten phones deep in a tv telethon. At one point in the day, as if the phone calls weren't enough, my daughter actually texted me to tell me that her brother was about to call. That's when I stopped looking around for Jerry Lewis and started searching for a noose instead.

Once I got home, I made something that could probably be considered a close relative of dinner. I didn't feel like eating just then, so I fed the kids, got us ready for the next day and then we sat down to watch "The Voice". It's a singing competition on tv (for those of you who are unfamiliar). I decided I would pull out my iPad and try to write a post while the kids were occupied in front of the television. That lasted right up until they started arguing about what kind of bird it was that Cee-Lo Green had. Cee-Lo is one of the judges on the show and he likes to bring his pets along to set. So, not only is this stupid bird squawking and distracting me, but my kids are both arguing and gasping in disbelief at the other's suggestion that the pink bird could possibly be a parrot, when CLEARLY it was a cockatoo (and vice versa). After bickering across the living room for a minute or two, it seemed to have suddenly occurred to them that I might be a bird expert, and so they looked to me to settle their debate. Naturally, I handled it the way any excellent mother would. I told them I had no idea and to be quiet because I was trying to do something. Yes, that's right. Go ahead and submit your mother-of-the-year nominiations. (The last name is spelled Y-O-E-S). So anyway, that's when I decided that I wasn't going to be able to write anything......besides maybe a few curse words. I put up my iPad and then decided I should eat something. Dinner was already put away so I thought I'd just have a bowl of cereal. (Enter Fruity Pebbles, stage left.) I actually ate them without incident and went on with my life. "The Voice" ended, we all got ready for bed and then said our "goodnights". I was still thinking about my BLOG and about what I thought I might want to write about. And finally, I'm sitting on the toilet laughing to myself and thinking, "These people really have no idea how ridiculous and UNglamorous my life is. What do I possibly have to write about?". So I'm sitting there with my old pajama pants around my ankles, make-up off (the smell of acne medication creeping up my nose), ratty hair up in a bun.....wondering if I could possibly feel any more gross than I did right at that moment........and honest to goodness, that's the very second that I looked down and found Fruity Pebbles in my cleavage. And besides wanting to cry, only one thing came to mind, "I know what I'm gonna write about."

Ahem.....This is My Introduction

This is my blog. If you're looking for the type of blog that's all fancy........shirt tucked in with a belt (shoes to match), make-up on, nails painted and all of the other finishing touches.....this blog is probably not for you. This will be more of an ugly-old-t-shirt -and-ten-year-old-pajama-pants blog. A lucky-to-remember-to-put-on-my-chapstick, much-less-all-of-my-make-up type of blog. A nails-painted-three-weeks-ago-and-a-few-flecks-of-polish-are-still-hanging-on-for-dear-life type of blog. A hair-on-the-top-of-my-head-in-a-messy-bun type of blog. SO.....if you're still reading this, high five. You've made it through all of my hyphens, and we've made it through our first paragraph together.

I'm not sure what this blog will become, but I can tell you what it won't be. Picture Martha Stewart.........and then look wayyyyyy down at the other end of the spectrum (don't hurt yourself) and that's where you'll find me, probably distracted or possibly taking a nap. I won't be giving you tips on how to make cute Halloween cupcakes or "how to's" on wall stenciling and wreath-making.  You also won't see me posting pics of myself neatly packing school lunches in brightly colored and embroidered lunch bags . More than likely, I'll be posting about how we were down to the last Gatorade that morning and how I diluted it, made two out of it and then congratulated myself for being such a genius (even though I knew my kids would be cursing me when they tasted it come lunch time).

 I don't have to try very hard to find humor in things. In fact, it usually slaps me in the face. And my goal here will be to share my experiences (good, bad and ugly) through the humor that presents itself. 

I believe in being real. I think we should all spend less time trying to impress one another, and more time identifying with and supporting one another. By sharing my stories in a real way, I hope that first and foremost, people might get a chuckle out of it. But I also hope that people (the three of four of you who might eventually subscribe to my blog) will be able to relate, or at least walk away from it feeling a little bit better about your own situation. It's the same reason I watch, "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo".

Here's to new adventures (even if they're brought on by relentless pressure by mom and her co-horts)!!  ;-)